So we signed our kids up for a sibling group to help our kids deal with conflict. We went four separate times for ninety minutes and then we had a home visit.
Yesterday was the home visit and it couldn't have fallen on a better day. Jack and Zach were fighting over the Lego. I was attempting to help them deal with the strategies we were given however Zach wanted nothing to do with the strategies they were given. I was getting very frustrated with their fighting and I was feeling so bad for Jack.
Jack truly seems like he wants to play beside Zach but Zach wants Jack to do anything but play with the Lego. Poor Jack just looks so sad at Zach's rejection. Sometimes Jack has gone up to Zach's Lego and purposefully broken his brother's Lego and Zach has done the same. Zach and Jack certainly can get into pretty nasty fights. I am not looking forward to when they are older and much stronger.
I was feeling like I was taking the Lego away far too often but after yesterday, my choice was correct. The psychologist who came to our house yesterday was seeing some of the behaviour we always see. She told us that it isn't going to happen over night but she told us to make a plan before bringing the Lego out. The idea is to make a plan when they are calm.
We should give them up to an hour to play and give them the consequences if the plan doesn't work. The plan can start with each of them having their own Lego in their own box. If they will play well together, they can keep their Lego otherwise it is taken away. She also suggested just giving them fifteen minutes.
Aaahhh! This parenting stuff is hard work.