Cinderella

When I was a little girl, my favorite princess was Cinderella. I'm not even sure why she was my favorite and I certainly do not recall watching the movie as often as Maddie has watched her princess movies.

But I'm not sure if liking princesses is a good thing or actually a bad thing or just the way it is. You don't want to rob your child of enjoying princess movies and fairy tales but I think it does a huge disservice to our girls.

I didn't even realize the impact that these fairy tales and television had on me until I was in a relationship. I had an extremely difficult time letting go of the fairy tale romances and Hollywood endings. I certainly didn't think that relationships were easy by any means. Coming from a family with divorced parents was evidence of the difficulty in marriages. However, I certainly do not remember a lot of the challenges my parents faced.

After my first year of dating, David and I broke up. Things got weird as a couple because of some of my expectations of what love and life 'should' be. I had the hardest time with being normal. So on our first year anniversary of dating, we broke up.

Then we went on with our previously made plans to fly back to Manitoba. David had his ten year high school reunion and I had my five year bible school reunion. David couldn't bring himself to go to his reunion so he came to mine. That was interesting. How did I introduce him to my friend's? But at the same time, the weirdness of dating was gone. We could be a regular couple, although undefined, things were back to 'normal'. I didn't have to 'be' anyone except myself. I just want to clarify that it wasn't Dave's expectations of me but my own expectations.

So nowadays, it is a continuous battle not to base life on your feelings. Feelings, whether good or bad, should not be a life changer. I should not make life decisions based on feelings. So how do you separate what needs to be dealt with and what is completely trivial. I don't want to ignore the 'small' things that actually are a 'huge' deal.

I think that an openness in communication will hopefully allow a couple to determine what is truly important. Is a part of love just accepting the love someone has for you? I know that there are different love languages and so the language of love that you are using may not be understood by your spouse. Is it possible to feel cared for but not loved? Isn't it insulting to tell someone that you don't feel loved by them? You just need to get on the same page of understanding one another.