Back to the victim mentality....sometimes I feel like shit happens. Every direction I turn, life seems difficult so I want to start taking back the control. No, I cannot control the diagnosis of autism, or the past. I cannot control my children as much as I would like to but I can start taking back control of my life. Even if it is in little ways. Those little things can make a significant difference.
Taking control of my body for example. Stopping breastfeeding or even making a plan to stop would be a start. I certainly don't want to stop quickly and suffer the consequences of mastitis or engorgement.
I'm tired of being controlled by money or the lack of it. I no longer want the lack of money to stop me from stopping breastfeeding. I just wish there was an alternative to the formula.
Taking back time would be fantastic. So we hired the dream nanny but sadly right after hiring her she declined because of family obligations. Terribly sad. Now we are back to square one to find someone else. The time for my mental wellbeing is critical even if it is to catch some extra sleep.
When is it considered a crisis? We have been one step away from a crisis for a very long time. I think that things improve slightly and then we are one step away from crisis again.
So let's take back the control!
If the weather starts to smarten up...I would like to try my hand at gardening. Even the therapeutic benefits would be amazing. I think that Jack could really get into it as well. He is such a hands on type of kid. Maybe it would be therapeutic for more than just myself.
Our family needs healing. I need healing. So let's begin the process of healing. Are you ready to?