The Strong Willed Child

Our newest struggle with our difficult one (Jack)....is lying. I'm just not sure how to handle the lying. I'm a little dumbfounded how the lying even started. What makes a three year resort to lying? I'm assuming that he feels like he has done something wrong or that he is concerned about the consequences. I would prefer the truth over the lying.

How do you get through to a three year old with a speech delay why the lying is wrong?

I'm a little dumbfounded how to get through to this strong willed child. It doesn't seem like a big discovery but just coming to the conclusion that he is strong willed is huge.

It is totally amazing how this three year old affects our entire household. Even more amazing is how this three year old can get under my skin. Sometimes I feel like I am a twelve year old dealing with him and not a grown adult.

At first I thought it was because we are both boars (according to the Chinese calendar). Man, how does a three year old win consistently?

It terrifies me because if he is winning at three years of age, what will he be like at 15? He is little now and still small enough to pick up but he is already a pretty strong and solid dude.

How do we motivate him without forcing him? Actually, you cannot force him because he is like a stick in the mud. For example...going to the bus is often a stressful period of my morning. The bus picks Jack up at our door and all he has to do is go down five steps and walk to the bus.

So Friday was like a typical day....difficult. Jack started out rough. He needed me to shut the door prior to him moving an inch. Then, what does he do?...he picks up Maddie's water gun that had been left in the front yard from the day before. (you know what it's like... gotta touch that object). I know if that gun goes on that bus it may not come back home. Dilemma... What do I do? I ask Jack to put the gun down (I feel kinda like a cop with a layperson holding a gun).

To add to the difficulty, I'm in my pajamas but thankfully pajama pants. Not ideal but not something revealing.

So, he doesn't put the gun down so I go out after him worsening everything. Of course he doesn't run towards the bus, he ran towards our neighbor's house.

How do you get through to a child with the speech issues? I was obviously making things worse. Initially I encouraged him to go to the bus, saying what a big boy he was and then he protested and said that he was a little boy. Trying to make a game of it. Trying to make it into a race with no success.

To much of Jack's disapproval, I picked him up and took him to the bus and I put him down on the bus. Jack protested and absolutely refused to go to his seat while on the bus. The bus driver told me he would take over and that I could go. (I'm trying to ignore how awful a mother I must seem to this bus driver.) I gladly walked away feeling like a failure practically running to the house. Hardly even looked back.

Man, transitions are challenging for Jack but having the distraction of the appealing shiny object makes things nearly impossible.

So, to find this information to help deal with the strong willed child is magnificent. I was feeling like I could no longer cope today and wondering what desperate measures could be sought out. I just wanted to run far away after dealing with more challenging behaviour that occurs on a daily basis. What is wrong with me? Feeling like a horrible mother!

Do people need to be desperately suicidal or catatonic or unable to get out of bed before getting help? Do I have to fall into desperation before I "qualify" for help. I'm needing help here people.

I am trying to help myself without any success. Picking myself up time and time again or should I say peeling myself off the floor? I think I'm doing pretty darn good despite these awful moments but I don't want to destroy my relationship with Jack.

More to come on dealing with the strong willed child.