Is love enough?

Marriages falling apart every which way you turn. You would think that Christians would have a lower rate of divorce but sadly it is still forty percent of their marriages fail. Please do not feel judged if you are one of these persons. My intention is not to judge you. I have three amazing friends that are among the divorced and I love them none the less.

As a married person, I am questioning how we can stay married and be happily married? Not just accepting the status quo and none of this staying together just because but having something truly remarkable. I'm not saying that we don't have any problems but let's show people that marriage can be great. Now we certainly haven't arrived but striving for an enviable relationship sounds good to me.

So...with four children, how do you do that? How do you keep the fire burning with your spouse? How do you nurture your own relationship despite the busy-ness of life? Is love enough? Or does it take more than love to have a successful, growing relationship? We are two individuals with very unique needs and desires.

I can look out for Dave's needs but if I am forsaking my own needs, is that healthy? Is there a secret to nurturing your spouse and then in a way getting your own needs met by doing that? But what if your spouse isn't looking out for your needs? I don't think that there is any benefit to sacrificing yourself. If you are doing everything for your spouse and children and everyone else around you, that certainly cannot be healthy.

I think a healthy set of boundaries is important. I don't think that it is healthy or even biblical to be slowly dying inside while you do everything for everyone else while you sacrifice your own needs. Or am I just a truly selfish individual?

Remember marriage is all new to me, not in years, but a couple's interactions. My parents separated when I was five and their marriage was over before I was even born. So this whole marriage thing is foreign to me. Not that other couples are experienced but if their parent's are together, they could see their interaction with each other.

Any thoughts or ideas will be truly appreciated.