Bittersweet! Weaning Gabriel is an exciting prospect but makes me a little sad too. My little baby is growing up. I'm always a little sad about the change in the connection with my young baby. Going from breastfeeding to bottle feeding or cup feeding. I'm always nervous that our connection will never be the same even though I know that there will still be a connection but it will just be different.
The breastfeeding experience has been very different with Gabe due to my return to work when he was only three months. It has been a very interesting experience going to work with the combination of pumping and breastfeeding.
It too has been an eye opening experience seeing how my milk supply can go up and down. Dependent upon how tired I am or rested, how much I have had to drink or not enough and/or how many times I have pumped in a day.
I never had to investigate the transitioning back to work with breastfeeding prior to this experience. But with Gabriel, I never solely breastfed him after three months so it's not the same transition as with the other kids. Gabe has always taken a bottle, not always well, but has always taken a bottle.
But with Gabe...I know that we are finished having baby's. I know that Gabriel will always be my baby but it's just the letting go of this stage of life.
My breasts will shrink back to their pre-breastfeeding state or even smaller than the pre-breastfeeding state. I never thought that I even had breasts to begin with so it is quite sad to see them go. I always thought that it would be in pregnancy that I would have breasts but it was actually with breastfeeding. Well I guess that's really not exciting but they will be mine again.
I will have the freedom to take any medication I need to help me get through the migraines or colds and not have to avoid the medications because of the risk to the baby.
Now here comes the exciting part of letting go of the breastfeeding. After nearly six years of my life breastfeeding, I will have my body back. I will be able to move above and beyond the breastfeeding schedule. I am so thrilled to be moving past the baby stage.
So here's to life...