Feelin' like a Failure

When Maddie was a baby, she was allergic to milk. I would have been happy to breastfeed her for a very long time however she quit at eleven months.

What I didn't know at the time was that she was allergic to soya as well. We started with the soy milk but she had diarrhea for a month. The day that we changed her from soy to allimentum, the diarrhea stopped. Evidence enough for me to stop the soy forever. But sadly the allimentum formula is terribly expensive and only available in liquid form in Canada. I think that it is wrong that Blue Cross does not cover these special formulas. It is a special circumstance why we are using it in the first place. It's not like someone chooses to give their baby allimentum just because. It smells really gross but our options were certainly limited.

So why have I just gone on this long tangent about formula. Maddie was born premature and dropped off the growth curve so she definitely needed the calories from the formula. She would only drink it from a bottle. And unfortunately with the bottle came the tooth decay. She got cavities in her front teeth.

Unfortunately the white filling stuff is really temporary. She had to have the front two teeth filled a year after they were fixed and now again the white stuff has worn away and now there are cavities again. The "sugar bugs" as they call them got trapped behind the enamel and caused cavities.

So now she is six...so what do we do? I was hoping that we could just have them fall out on their own prior to hearing about the cavities. I could clearly see that the enamel was breaking away. Just sucks!

So the choice was to have her teeth fixed or have them pulled. Man, I could totally start bawling now! I just feel like a terrible mom. :(

I'm not sure if she is more proned to cavities because of the decreased calcium. I would think that the formula she had would have contained calcium. She never drinks milk on it's own but she can eat cheese now thankfully.

To make things worse, Dave had an important meeting that was scheduled at the same time as Maddie's dentist appointment. So I had to take two of the other kids with me. Oh man, I don't want them to be traumatized. But I really want to support Maddie. I was asked to leave and I left feeling very defeated because I had the other kids with me. I should have fought to stay anyways but I didn't. After the extraction, the look on Maddie's face said it all. Of course they said she did great but would they say anything else? Really? Totally sucks!